Which love?

My friend was trying to explain to me that I will eventually realize that I am not really in love because she is realizing that. Her explanation was that when asked why you loved this person none of the reasons could relate back to you. For example, "He makes ME feel...." or "I love the way he does... for ME." The only flaw in her explanation is that my case of love I hardly ever define with ME things.

"I love his personality." I said when she asked me to explain.

"But what about it, now you have to define it, you can't see so it's not real!"

"No.. I think.. I love his opinions, and his view of the world. I love the perspective he brings to a conversation. I love his interests, and his talents. I love the colors he chooses to wear, and the colors he doesn't like...."

She stopped me here cause it was getting ridiculous and her point was obviously lost but I kept thinking about it. This girl who for the last 8 months has been swearing up and down that she was in love is now trying to explain why it wasn't real. Either because she finally sees that it wasn't or in my opinion: It's easier to believe that a lost love was never love, than to feel lost after real love.

but which love is real love?

There is the case of the boy who loves a girl for five years with nothing to go off of, and so many rejections and absolutely no reciprocation. In short unrequited love. and young love. and old love. and secret love. and you get it.

And how do you show REAL love?

service? terms of endearment? deep conversation? sex?

I have all these ideas about what love might be, or should be, or may have been but when I find myself actually thinking "I am in love," the circumstances never fit into plans, or stories, or self help books. I've never had a moment where I thought "wow this love is so cliche" because even those moments come at times, and in places, and with people, that are just so unexpected, and outside of any box or quote book.

"We're all just as lost in love, as we are out." -someone said it I bet.